Friday, October 28, 2005

Maple Sugar Smell Sadly Undetected in Philadelphia

Appropriation Alert! I'm completely stealing this from Gothamist - apologies for the breach of etiquette and/or legal infractions - I just can't pass on a good story about maple sugar and/or pancakes/flapjacks.

For the record, I walked around South Street and Dirty Frank's neighborhood, but at no time did I notice the sweet smell of maple sugar. I guess the smell drifted southwest to perhaps Newark, or maybe Hoboken, but Philadelphia retained its robust autumnal garbage scent all evening.

Only have a minute to update the blog, so it's cut & paste time...

October 28, 2005

Maple Sugar Smell Mystery!
Something strange is going on-- last night the whole city smelled like maple syrup! Gothamist has gotten reports from all over Manhattan-- and we smelled the strange, sweet odor as far south as Chambers Street. Gothamist Contribute also has some reports:

The whole city smells like maple syrup and everyone knows it! Tell us why.
October 28, 2005 02:38 AM

Same smell is pervading the Greenwich Village / NYU area -- both outdoors and in, I smelled it in my apt earlier and thought a neighbor was making french toast or something but it's clearly something bigger. Maple syrup dirty bomb???
October 28, 2005 02:09 AM

I'm on W. 96th St. and I can smell it, too. I thought there was some food hidden in my room somewhere.
October 28, 2005 01:04 AM

The air smells of maple syrup in the Upper West Side. Anonymous individual sources questioned at street corners around Harlem agree that for some reason it smells very sweet and syrupy. Everyone speculates that a pancake truck or maple syrup factory has caught on fire. Perhaps Gothamist can investigate? (around Columbia Uni area + Harlem area)
October 28, 2005 12:50 AM

Maple syrup dirty bomb? Commence panic! Is there a huge, maple syrup slick in the East River that we don't know about?

[Related: You Can't Make It Up also noticed the smell!]

Update: The New York Times doesn't know what it is, either!

Update: News Channel 4 just said they have no idea what it was, but that they didn't think it was dangerous!

Update: Apparently it could be smelled all the way in Astoria!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Bush Puts Food On My Family

I knew that there had to be some evil genius at work here, only it just didn't seem like Karl Rove's type of work.

Good find Pawlik.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Beautiful World! Cruel Ugly World! 2.0

I've broken the sacred code of blogging by using the edit feature to alter embarrasing old posts. Future generations may wonder why I originally posted links to these two animations, and to them I say "love is a subject that your digitally enhanced surgically altered virtual minds can sadly no longer grasp."

These are cool...

Ahhh. And oh, poor baby.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Tree Hugger Finishes Last in Humboldt Marathon

Humboldt County, CA. Oct. 16th - Despite months of rigorous physical training, near-monastic bouts of spiritual meditation, adherence to a strict semi-vegetarian diet, and a bold prediction of certain victory, legendary Philadelphia distance runner Prefontaine Herlinger nevertheless failed in his quest for Humboldt County Marathon glory.

"Damdest thing I ever saw!" said Ward Bannister, Humboldt County Marathon President and organizer. "I fired the starter's gun, and 'boom' - off this fellow goes into the woods - right off the marked path mind you - and ploughs into the first Redwood tree he sees."

Bannister was referring to the much publicized start to the 27th Annual Humboldt County Marathon - captured on video by San Francisco's ABC affiliate K-FOG TV-8 and later broadcast during its 11pm Newscast - showing hundreds of primed Marathon runners beginning their 26.2 mile race - while a lone runner is seen sprinting crazily ahead, crashing headlong into one of the many massive Redwood trees lining the course. Many of the other runners are then seen attempting to come to the aid of the ostensibly confused runner only to be rebuffed as the wayward runner then proceeds to give the tree a hug that would make even the most devout environmentalist blush.

The runner - later revealed to be Philadelphia runner and environmentalist Prefontaine Herlinger - was reported to have suffered three broken ribs, a shattered collarbone, and a collapsed lung.

According to accounts, at approximately 7:45am, Herlinger arrived at the race check-in table, signed-in, and began stretching and making small talk with the other runners. By 8:15am, Eureka resident Lee Rahe recalled a hushed Herlinger introducing himself politely and whispering in awed tones about the 'glorious' Redwood trees. "I thought 'Sure, whatever, they're just old trees," shrugged Rahe. "I wished him luck, but I don't think he heard me - he just stared up into the sky."

Over the next 45 minutes, Herlinger spoke to no less than 9 other runners, and more or less repeated the same perfunctory introduction. "I thought 'they must not have many trees back in Pennsylvania,' because this poor guy wouldn't talk about anything else," explained Modesto resident John Milner. "I mean, the trees are amazing here, but, you know, like Reagan said, 'if you've seen one Redwood, you've seen 'em all.'"

Other Humboldt County runners admitted that Herlinger seemed overly excited by the Redwoods. "I'm a fourth generation logger," explained Eureka resident Seth Bunyan, "so I respect these trees - I marvel at their history, their nobility even, but yet I don't goddamned drool." Emma Rodriguez, a runner from Santa Clara agreed, "we all love the trees, but if you want to be a tree hugger, at least don't damage the trees. Jesus." Ms. Rodriguez was referring to the six square-feet section of bark that had been damaged by the impact of the high-speed Herlinger at the base of the mighty Redwood, which now threatened the life of the tree that may have stood 100 years before Christophe Colombe first set foot in North America in 1492.

"This tree has been here for 600 years," mystified Forest Ranger Paul Tinio explained, "and here this guy comes along, this sweatshirt wearing hippie with fancy east coast shoes, and smashes into the old girl - and now look at this!" Tinio sighed, holding a large chunk of thick, brown bark. "This Redwood will be dead before next winter."

Asked to explain his fatal tree hugging while recuperating from his hospital bed at the Muir Woods Regional Hospital, Herlinger admitted he was as perplexed as anyone. "I've given tree huggers a bad name... I mean an even worse name. Oh brother, I might as well work for Georgia Pacific or 3M," sobbed an inconsolable Herlinger.

Informed that tests indicated that a previously unclassified Appalachian fungus had been brought to California via his dusty running shoes, and was quickly spreading uncontrollably throughout the indigenous flora of the Pacific Northwest, Herlinger tore up his Greenpeace Card and jumped out the nearest window, taking out several branches of an extremely rare Dophsilicus Terphildaeus tree donated by John Muir himself some fifty years earlier, and pulvarizing one of the three hundred remaining Spotted Owls into a cloud of feathers, before hitting the unwelcoming earth some fifty feet below.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Head West Young Frog

Just a quick ride on the Subway to the airport, and then its off to California! Hey! Everybody here smells like Fozi!

Flying is so exciting - Humboldt County Marathon here I come! Look below - infamous Fraggle Rockatraz prison.

Ah! San Francisco - hmm, looks at bit like Jersey from this angle...

The Chinatown. Did I order this? Is this Una Don? Well, I hope this isn't pork - sorry P.

Can't stay in 'Frisco without checking out some nightlife. The non-frog brunette is checking me out I think.

Oh well, struck out again. Tomorrow Paso Robles - but for now, sleep.

Kermit appears courtesy of Kermit